Hello, everyone! So, today has been a really hard day. Don’t worry, I haven’t lost anyone or anything. It’s not been THAT kind of hard. It’s just been a really… anxiety heavy day. It’s hard to talk about sometimes, you know? A lot of people won’t take you seriously if you just complain about anxiety. It’s one of those things that we’re all supposed to sweep under the proverbial rug and “let go.” At least, that’s always what I was told. Mental health was never at the forefront of my family’s list of priorities. Unfortunately, I think that is the case with a lot of people who is growing up in the rural South. Here, at least, in my experience, it’s considered a kind of “weakness” to show any cracks in your exterior. The world already thinks poorly on anyone with a Southern accent, so you have to show them that you’re not bothered. You’re too tough to be bothered. They can take their judgement and…. well, you get the idea. LoL That being the case, I’ve had to learn on my own how to deal with things that cause anxiety, same with my depression. Don’t get me wrong, I was VERY lucky to have friends and a brother that wanted to help me with my journey because they were experiencing the same things. Without them, I don’t know if I would even be here. However, another thing I had to learn is how to put my anger in check. Things (or people) that cause me any sort of anxiety make me want to put my battle armor on and go to war. In my last blog post I mentioned my newly acquired enemy at work. I lost sleep over it. I can’t help it. If something creeps into my mind like that, it makes its home there. And let me tell you, it is DIFFICULT to remove once it’s planted roots. I run different scenarios in my mind all night fighting, arguing, etc. It’s exhausting.
Now, all that being said and the fact that I practice witchcraft, I confess it is REALLY hard not to throw curses out right and left. I have thought about it… several times. The scary thing is that I know that you get back whatever you throw out, and sometimes it may be worse than what you bargained for. Dealing with the dark entity that has been plaguing the people I’m trying to help has taught me this: you don’t control curses. Curses control you. Once you step over onto the dark side of the veil, you fall victim to an illusion. That illusion is that you are still able to come out of it, still able to take back what you’ve released. The fact is, it’s not easy… and sometimes… it’s impossible. The loss of command doesn’t come suddenly. The darkness likes to take its time, filtering in through your pores a little at a time, giving you that false sense of dominance… and it feels good. The seduction of power is heated and intense. Like a snake of heroin curling around your veins, dark power carves it’s way through your mind until it’s too late to regress. The contract has been signed. You are lost…
SO!! I’ve decided not to do the curse I had planned for this night of the full moon. Bad juu-juu and all. LoL Instead, I have decided to vent through writing and music. I leave you with this song that helped me through the day. I hope you all enjoy and remember, you can’t fight darkness with darkness, no matter how tempting it is. Love and Lust to you All!
2 thoughts on “Curses!… Literally”
I also practice WitchCraft. Growing up we would go to A Lutheran Church on Sunday Morning & then spend Sunday afternoon in a small town near Orlando called Cassadega, FL. Its a spiritualist community that was started by a group of Mediums, Psychics, Shamen, Witches etc from New York about 150 years ago. You have probably heard of it. If you’re ever in Orlando skip the fantasy fake magic at the rats kingdom & find real magik in a real spiritualist camp. No cheesy gimmicks in the Real Cassadega or fakes just make sure you are in the town limits. Fakes have set up camp on the outer limits of town so avoid them & go straight to the Hotel, Book store & temple that are the Core of the Camp. You will feel the energy change the second you cross into the Camp. Even friends I have that swear to have no extra senses, gifts, etc. (I believe everyone has abilities. They just need to be deprogrammed) Feel the towns energy. It attaches itself to you in a positive way. Anyways I have ventured down some dark paths in my life & called upon energy & spirits out of anger I thought I could control. I was wrong & I was lucky enough to have Elders & my First teacher help me to reverse what I had done but not before damage was done to the people that I had focused my dark intentions upon. It was empowering at first until I was woke by a friend who made me realize I wasn’t powerful & didn’t have the right to destroy these people. But I had opened a door that was casting its negative energy through me & I liked it which scared me. Like everyone I am Dark & Light but I have always been drawn by the dark. It seduces me like a beautiful woman I can’t resist or like the high I got the 1st time I shot Heroin at 14 years old (23 years no Heroin). The 4 people that were the targets of my works, spells & intentions are still suffering. I could not reverse the damage I had done. Just stop it. I feel terrible but just like Heroin The Dark, Black Magik calls me like soft hands that want to cradle me in a place with no light, energy, sound or air. But I know I can never open that door again. My teacher & 2 of the 3 elders who helped me stop my intentions have passed on. I can still reach My teacher from the other side and draw upon her energy but I don’t think I could stop something like that again. So always try to resist that anger, hate or vengeance whether you practice Magik or not. People don’t understand the power intentions can have when they are driven by the dark forces that are inside of us all. Im still trying to send positive energy to those I hurt but I have a hard time because they were not good people before but still. I am not the creator. I am not Mother Earth. I am just a small element. A piece of the universal puzzle. Sorry for babbling. This is the 1st Ive spoke of this in 3 years. Your post made me think you might understand. Thanks
I understand completely. I, too, have sent out negative energy with repercussions I wish I could take back. Of course, this was when I was much younger and didn’t understand the consequences of strong intent. We all make mistakes with the power we are given. It is only human. The important thing is that the lessons learned from such actions do not go unnoticed and are used to hone the skills and energy within ourselves. There will always be brothers, sisters, and elders out there to help show us the way. You are not alone and I’m glad you were able to release some of that tension. 😊. Blessed be!